Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
