Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
