Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
