I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
