Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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