I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
