How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
