Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I forgot wine drunk hurts
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
