Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
