I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
