My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
