I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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