Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
