I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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