He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
