lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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