Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
