those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
