You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
