Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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