I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
