and she was petting her beer can
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
