apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
