oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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