My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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