I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
