i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
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she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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