Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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