I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
