trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
two words: eviction party
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Randomize
