I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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