were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
