She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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