Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
