So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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