i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
