she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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