I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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