I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
