You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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