i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize