i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We don't watch enough power rangers
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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