Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize