We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
