Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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