I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
