I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
