for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sorry about my life...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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