yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
