I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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