So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
