so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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