I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
