More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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